The 10th Season of Old Garchonians is looking ominous for the rest of the Southern Amateur League, a ruthless start to the campaign as we reaped the solid work that’s been put in by Will Bonsu on the training pitch since the government permitted we do so.
The season began for 3 of the 4 XI’s and throughout 270 minutes of action our defences were not breached. To put that in perspective 11 clean sheets were kept across the 16 leagues of the SAL, and we contributed 27% of them. 18% were from the ageing Matt Nyong alone, defying calls that his suplex’s are slowing as he enters his twilight years. The ex-1st team captain now club treasurer has utilised pre-season by practising lock-outs on the clubs bank account and carried this form into week 1 keeping the goals against column at zero for the 2’s at midday then repeating the feat for the 1’s at 2pm. The other 9% of SAL clean sheets coming from Left-Back Laurence Akrill, who has been calling for a change of position throughout pre-season and manager Rakim duly rewarded the still current Clubman in the season opener handing him the gloves. Faith was repaid to his manager in the form of 3 goal kicks as he didn’t actually have a save to make.
Anyway, out of the keepers unions collective arse and onto the matches:
1st XI home to Old Stationers
The first team are out to claim what was on course to be theirs last season. The League title and with it a return to the first division. One season in the second tier feels too long and now due to a Global Pandemic we have to endure another season of victories. Goals from Tom Lytton (for some reason he was allowed a free-kick in shooting range), Felix Murray, Tyrone and Andrew Wands provided a comfortable opener and sent them to the top of the table. They will be hoping that does not change from here on in.
Result: 4-0 win
Man of the Match: Josh for a rare Stapleton cameo
2nd XI home to Old Lyonians
The 2’s set out to build on last year, aspirations of promotion and league wins faded before COVID-19 put to bed a season that summarised a re-build in progress. New blood and a stellar pre-season of work behind them they sent out an early statement. Goals from Manc Tom, Dan Atherton and Josh Dawson rounded of a complete performance, setting the tone and standards for the season ahead.
Result: 3-0 win
Man of the Match: Dan Emmerson
3rd XI away to Crouch end Vampires
A fixture that always conjures up those primeval feelings of battle. Local rivals, enemies, the antithesis of Old Garchonians, but a challenge that was snuffed out all too readily by the black and gold. We set out with a strong team, despite the late injury to goalkeeper Kaya, and the determination of a squad with eyes on becoming league winners. A high press combined with fully out-working the young and dazzled opponents resulted in Jay Edwards-Hill being able to draw in players before laying it off to Joe Alkins in space who duly took advantage of the time afforded to him by bending it into the far top corner. A sweeping move down the left minutes later resulting in Aydin Conastacuntapopulusidus whipping it towards the back post for, club top scorer, Alkins to nod in a second. Aydin added a second assist before the half came to a close, one of the many perfectly delivered corners was met by centre-half Dan leaving the keeper no chance. 3-0.
The Old Garch wasted countless chances in the second half, but Chris O’Callaghan, opening his account for the season, made it 4-0, a third set-up from the Aussie Assister after some superb energetic endeavour from Alex Bull.
Result: 0-4 win
Man of the Match: Wedge Rob for total distance covered being equivalent to falling at the first hurdle
Coming up…
The Black and Gold are going on a little trophy hunt and the 4’s are re-born, Phoenix A-kom-frah-the-flames at the helm.
19th September
1st XI
SAL Cup Semi-Final
V Bank of England
2nd XI
League
V Norsemen
3rd XI
SAL Cup FINAL
V Old Lyonians
4’s XI
League
V Alexandra Park
Bulletproof Brother